Emma Newbury Counselling & Wellbeing Support

Welcome, and thank you for visiting my domestic abuse survivors page. My name is Emma Newbury, and I am a counsellor providing online therapy to adults across the UK.

Domestic Abuse Champion

Online Counselling for Survivors of Domestic Abuse across the UK

You might not be completely sure whether what you've experienced is 'domestic abuse'.

Perhaps something has felt 'off' in a relationship- but you can't quite put your finger on it.

You may feel confused or anxious, or like you're constantly second-guessing yourself.

Perhaps you feel as though you're always walking on eggshells and don't want to upset your partner for fear of what might happen.

If any of this resonates with you, you are certainly NOT ALONE, and you deserve support.

Regardless of your gender or however you identify, your sexual orientation, your ethnic group, culture, or religion, domestic abuse is depressingly common. I have a special interest in this area, and have undergone additional training, giving me a deeper understanding of your experience.

I am here to offer you support in dealing with the emotional and psychological legacy of your experiences.

I have supported many clients who have experienced some form of domestic abuse or other, and understand the impact it can have... even years later, the feelings of shame and guilt live on.

Emma Newbury Counsellor Spilsby Lincolnshire

FAQs

Why don't people leave abusive relationships sooner?

It is not as easy as 'just leaving', and it is the most dangerous time for the victim. If the abuser thinks they are about to lose control, they can become desperate and therefore, dangerous.

What should I do if I need to leave an abusive relationship?

Careful consideration and planning needs to take place. Try to have an emergency bag with basics such as clothes, toiletries, phone and some money, if you can. Seek help from an organisation, such as Refuge, Mankind or similar for expert advice. Try to tell a trusted person what is happening and what you plan to do.

How can counselling help me?

Abusive relationships can affect just about every part of your life, and the trauma can live on. Counselling can help you speak freely in confidence about your experiences, and help you rediscover yourself, rebuilding your self-worth, confidence and esteem with it.

Why do I feel so much shame and guilt?

Many survivors of abuse describe feeling shame and guilt for not leaving sooner, especially when children are involved. In counselling, you will have the opportunity to explore these feelings, work out why they exist, and hopefully realise that you deserve compassion for what you went through.

Will I ever get my confidence and self-esteem back?

Rebuilding a sense of worth and confidence will form a large part of your recovery, so if that is something you need to do, I can help you with it!

You can survive this, and once you have, your life can begin again and you will realise how good life can be... and that you can survive anything.

You might be experiencing domestic abuse if:

  • You feel as though you're walking on eggshells
  • You are constantly worried about saying or doing something 'wrong'
  • You feel constantly anxious
  • You doubt your own memory or judgement
  • You feel responsible for someone else's behaviours
  • You've lost confidence in yourself
  • You feel stuck or unable to leave
  • You don't know who you are anymore

What Domestic Abuse can look like:

  • Controlling behaviour
  • Emotional abuse
  • Manipulation
  • Coercive control
  • Gaslighting
  • Physical abuse
  • Sexual abuse
  • Financial abuse
  • Isolation from friends and family
  • Monitoring of electronic devices and social media
  • Constant criticism, or being put down
  • Feeling unsure of your own thoughts or feelings

Domestic Abuse:

  • Can happen to anyone, not just women
  • Can happen across different cultures
  • Can happen regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity
  • Can have a long-lasting effect on a person
  • Causes victims to develop trauma responses to survive
  • Can be difficult to admit to as victims often feel a strong sense of shame about their experience
  • Can affect children, too
  • Can cause trauma- which you can read more about here

The Lasting Effects of Domestic Abuse

  • Hypervigilance
  • Emotional dysregulation
  • Fear
  • Loss of sense of self
  • Loss of self-confidence
  • Loss of self-esteem
  • Loss of self-respect
  • Issues trusting again
  • Social isolation
  • Symptoms of trauma
  • PTSD

Domestic Abuse and the Law

Domestic Abuse Act 2021

  • Officially defines domestic abuse
  • Recognises domestic abuse is not just about physical violence
  • Makes clear that DA can happen between partners, ex-partners and family members
  • Acknowledges that children are victims, too- not just witnesses

Domestic Abuse and the Law cont...

  • Creates stronger protections (Domestic Abuse Protection Notices and Orders) which can restrict abusers from contacting victims or entering homes
  • Improves support for victims, including the provision of safe accommodation and support services by local councils
  • Limits how abusers can use legal system to continue harm


"I am not defined by what happened to me... I am not responsible for my abuse, my abuser is."

My location

I am based in Spilsby, Lincolnshire and offer online and telephone counselling across the UK. I use platforms such as WhatsApp video, Teams and Zoom.

Contact me to find out more about how online therapy works.

Fees & availability

Therapy sessions for individuals last up to 60 minutes, usually taking place on a weekly basis, and cost £50 per session. I also provide a limited number of spaces for those on low-income or for students.

Note that if you want to cancel an appointment I require 48 hours’ notice; otherwise you will still need to pay for any sessions missed. I accept payment by bank transfer.

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Maya Angelou

“Let's think the unthinkable, let's do the undoable. Let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.”

Douglas Adams

“Happiness lies in virtuous activity, and perfect happiness lies in the best activity, which is contemplative.”

Aristotle

Get in Touch


Feel free to contact me if you have any questions about how I work, or to arrange an initial assessment appointment. This enables us to discuss the reasons you are thinking of coming to therapy, whether it could be helpful for you and whether I am the right therapist to help.

You can also call me on +44 7392 027 452 if you would prefer to leave a message or speak to me first. I am happy to discuss any queries or questions you may have prior to arranging an initial appointment.

All enquiries are usually answered within 24 hours, and all contact is strictly confidential and uses secure phone and email services.


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